Movie Review: Midnight Movie (2008)

After receiving this film in the post, I was more than excited to watch what some people had called one of the best direct to DVD Horror films. Until I was contacted by Jack Messitt (Director) I had never heard of Midnight Movie, however, once I received the DVD I did a bit of research and was pleasantly surprised and intrigued with what I read. As well as a great website, this title boasts some impressive accolades and high praise from various outlets.

The film starts with a patient at a psychiatric ward painting. The patient, Ted Radford was a director who forty years ago made a slasher film called The Dark Beneath. At the request of his doctor, he is permitted to watch his film however, something sinister occurs and everyone on the ward except for the doctor vanishes leaving behind only pools of blood and a mystery! The only remnants of Radford, is a few weird symbols and a lot of blood!

Skip forward a few years and we are taken to a cinema setting with a small group of people congregating to watch a screening of The Dark Beneath! A short way into the grainy film, it flashes and unbeknown to the onlookers we are suddenly watching a point of view from within the cinema where one of the workers is in the basement. He is soon dispatched with the killers weapon of choice, a corkscrew of some description! It isn’t long before the previously oblivious spectators realise that something is happening which is beyond their initial comprehension!

Among the patrons is the surviving doctor and a cop who has seemingly devoted his career to solving the mystery surrounding Ted Radford. Between the two of them, they adequately inform the rest of the group of the dangers they face and they realise the daunting fact that maybe, the killer from the movie has somehow set his sights on them!

What impressed me from the outset about Midnight Movie was the production value, despite having a budget of $1Million (source: Wikipedia) the production values were very high indeed. Couple this with a semi-able cast and it all made for a good solid start! While the premise plays with some scale of originality, essentially it’s an old fashioned, by the book slasher film. As with most slashers of this type, the killer dons a costume and Radford’s is no slouch in that department. An impressively creepy skull mask and hillbilly style dungaree’s make this killer stand out from the crowd.

As for that semi-able cast, perhaps, semi-able is perhaps a bit harsh, with the exception of one or two, the acting was very good. With most films of this magnitude, I am normally oblivious to all members of the cast until I do some research but fans of Heroes should instantly recognise Brea Grant (Daphne Millbrook – Speedster) although she has a minor role here, a recognisable face is always a welcome addition. Lead character, Bridgett is very competently played by Rebekah Brandes. Daniel Bonjour who plays her boyfrield Josh is another example of good casting. In a great twist of characterisation, Josh’s polar opposite is ironically his best friend Mario, who is played in his only credited role to date by Greg Cirulnick. An instant dislike is taken to the obnoxious Josh who proves later in the film just how much he is worth! Some comedic value is supplied by Stan Ellsworth who plays Harley, the larger than life biker with an attitude.

On the whole, the cast as well as the characterisation help stand this film out from the crowd of mediocre slasher flicks, of which there are many! An original concept, impressive killer with an equally toe curling weapon really do contribute as well. A few great scenes with some impressive special effects and a compelling atmosphere all make Midnight Movie one of the best Random Horror films I have ever seen, to say I was impressed was a slight understatement and the stand out aspect was its fluidity. At no point throughout this film did I find myself asking the question, “How long left?” which in my line of interest happens more than I care to admit!

I would certainly recommend this film to anyone who likes slasher films as well as supernatural, to see the cross over between the two genres unfold was very interesting. The only disappointing thing about this film has to be the lack of wide exposure and the complete unavailability and ignorance of the UK market to this film. There must be an abundance of films just like this made in America which never make it this far across the Atlantic other than in the hands of a few minor horror specialists (like mine)

Midnight Movie is one of those films which helps cement my belief that there are good low budget independent horror films out there, I just have to find them. I refer to these as my little gems, unfortunately (or not, whichever way you think about it) in my native UK, I would not find this lining the bargain bin. For that reason, I would like to say a huge thank you to Jack Messitt for not only recommending his film but also for sending me a copy.

The film industry is so diluted and overflowing with regurgitated, colourful, big budget remakes that films like this get left behind. For me, this is something of a passion but for others, it’s their lives. If real horror fans want to see something truly original and enjoyable, I implore you to seek out these hidden gems and give them the recognition and praise they so obviously deserve. If we don’t do our bit, they might cease to exist and all we will be left with is boring, unoriginal tripe!

Released: 2008

My Rating: 8.5

Movie Review: Chain letter (2010)

Chain Letter was one of many DVD’s I received at Christmas and after a quick survey of the cover art, blurb and cast details, we decided that it was to be next on the list to watch. Said cover included a close up of some of the cast and a bloody corpse with a chain wrapped tightly around their ankle. The top billed also made for promising reading with the inclusion of horror legend Brad Dourif accompanied by familiar face Keith David and from Twilight, Nikki Reed.

The film opens with what is probably the most chilling moment. A girl who has been bound and tied is chained to the back of two cars. As she lay on the floor of a garage, two people exit the house and get into the cars, unbeknown to them, their cars would soon become a weapon of horrific death! The scene ends without actually finding out what happens and it isn’t until the end that we learn of the fate of the poor woman chained to the cars!  

The basic premise of Chain Letter follows a familiar pattern and is very reminiscent of both The Ring and Final Destination, almost a freak hybrid of the two to be honest. A group of friends must struggle for their lives as they are picked off one by one following a chain letter/E-Mail being sent to them by an anonymous sender. The first to go are those who dismissed the letter as stupid and ignored or deleted it without continuing the chain! 

Well, that’s the story in a nutshell. For the most part, Chain Letter follows a very formulaic pattern shared by hundreds of like minded slasher flicks, with very little in the way of originality the premise promised a lot but fails in every quarter to deliver. As with most slasher films, it does have its fair share of impressive and inventive death scenes but other that this, there is very little to find of note with Chain Letter. 

Not even the inclusion of Brad Dourif is enough of a stimulant to stir up some quality. In fact, having his name attached to this film was probably how it got as much attention as it did, despite him having approximately 4 minutes of on-screen time. The vast majority of screen time is dominated by Nikki Reed. Reed plays Jessie, one of the group of kids who finds herself tangled in this web of horror. However, it is very difficult to find any empathy for the characters as very little effort is made in building their individuality. In fact, as the first death scene is going on, I was scratching my head trying to figure out who was being butchered, appartently he was connected to them in some way but you’d never know it!

All in all a paint by numbers slasher film with zero characterisation and a fairly poor and extrememly unsatisfactory ending leave this with very little to find in the way of recommendations. I think the closest I can come is a squeamish death scene involving a rather large chain and a poor teen’s face. I will leave it there! I also think this is the first time I have reviewed a film and scored it the same as that given by the users at IMDb! That’s something!

Released: 2010

My Rating: 4

8 Random Films to watch on November 10th!

Well, there we go. Halloween is over for another year. All those people who decide to make that one day something special will have a long wait for the next one. As for the rest of us, you know, those people who are horror 365 days a year and don’t necessarily need that one day to cement the fact are continuing on. Business as usual! 

I know, how very cynical of me and I don’t mean it really. I love Halloween. Being from England, there is very little to get excited about on Halloween. The day passes by with very little notice in most places. Example, we dressed our house up, carved the pumpkin went trick or treating and my daughter received a handful of sweets! In contrast, our street contains approx 30 houses. Of which, 4 were dressed up, 20 were in complete darkness so as to look empty and the rest were playing ball to an extent but all in all, very disappointing.

As a Brit, we see films, TV shows and other media from the States and the wonder of Halloween is something to behold. I am not sure if it is some kind of misconceived perception but it looks as though Halloween in America would be awesome! 

Anyway, to the films; the usual searches at this time of year consist of best films to watch on Halloween etc etc. I decided to mix it up a bit and wait until after Halloween and then issue the best "random" films to watch on November 10th!

Why November 10th I hear you say? No reason. I just looked at the calendar and decided on this Saturday! As with anytime of the year, moods change, seasons change and with that, so do your selections. Sometimes on a warm summers evening I find myself watching slasher’s, yet on a cold winters night, I can happily sit and enjoy some supernatural horror!

With all that being said, here is a Random List of Horror movies to watch next Saturday:

Please remember this list in no way represents my favourite or indeed anyone’s favourite films. I obviously can’t speak for everyone, for all I know, your favourite may be on this list. It is purely a “Random” list compiled of the first few films chosen at random that stray slightly further from the time honoured selection process than most...

8. The Silence of the Lambs: 

This film would quite possibly find its way onto most peoples’ rundown of favourite films. Anthony Hopkins plays Hannibal Lecter in the second story (First film, excluding Manhunter) of the series. Jodie Foster plays Clarice Starling who must enlist Lecter’s assistance in tracking down a serial killer known as Buffalo Bill (Ted Levine). Amazing imagery and atmosphere is generated by Jonathan Demme in this multi award winning masterpiece.

7. A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors:

It’s not the original, it’s not the “best” but for some reason of the seven

original films in the series and not even considering the abysmal re-make, this was the most all-round enjoyable film of the lot!

6. What lies Beneath:

Harrison Ford battles his demons of the past in this chilling supernatural thriller. Not really a horror film per se but an enjoyable thriller with Ford alongside Michelle Pfeiffer. Some creepy scenes coupled with a nice twist influenced the decision to include this on my random list for films to watch next weekend.

5. Saw 2:

Although many believe the original to be a master stroke in film making and storytelling, I personally guessed the outcome fairly early on as a “stab in the dark” reaction that turned out to be true so in that respect, I was slightly let down when it actually happened and the great twist everyone was talking about was somewhat expected. But, when I watched Saw 2, I was more than impressed and the franchise really took off from this one. Not everyone’s favourite but entertaining enough to find its way onto this list.

4. Diary of the Dead:

There is a pattern to this list and that pattern continues with Diary of the Dead. Far from Romero’s best and if I’m honest, after Survival of the dead, this one is the poorest but poor by the standards set in Night and Dawn still makes Diary an extremely satisfactory entry to the dead series from the master of Zombies himself. Diary plays on the recent trend of handheld “true events” films in the vein of [REC] and Cloverfield. Even though with timings etc, Romero may have jumped the lot and restarted the trend?? I’m not sure. Either way, Diary of the Dead provides us with an exceptionally original and wholly enjoyable film.

3. Alien 3:

There’s that pattern once more. Alien is regarded as one of the greatest films ever made, never mind horror film. Ridley Scott providing us with as close to perfection as a sci-fi film can be. Aliens and James Cameron took the franchise down a more action packed route and Alien Resurrection seemed a little bit like a money making exercise. However with all that noise, people sometimes forget about Alien 3. I thought this film was a great way to finish what would have been one of the best trilogies ever made. A trilogy that was not so much spoiled by Resurrection, if anything it only left us unfulfilled and wanting more, that little extra taste of Ripley kicking ass after having died and been resurrected as a hybrid was more than compelling. Having recently watched Prometheus I have to say I am very excited to see the next instalment and watch as the franchise evolves from the other end.

2. The Hills have Eyes:

I refer you to the remake from 2006 directed by Alexandre Aja. The first time I watched this one, I hadn’t yet seen Wes Craven’s original but I have to say I enjoyed it immensely and after watching the original, I almost grimace to admit, I prefer the remake. Sorry Mr Craven. Mutant Hill folk left horribly disfigured through fallout from nuclear testing swoop in and cause havoc upon an unsuspecting family travelling through the desert. It is left in the hands of Doug (Aaron Stanford) to save the day and rescue his kidnapped baby girl. A fast paced gorefest with shocks galore make this fantastically enjoyable remake and a great addition to anyone’s collection.

1. Dog Soldiers:

A low budget British Werewolf film pits a squadron of soldiers in a training exercise against a family of werewolves in the highlands of Scotland! What more do I need to say? Possibly the most all round enjoyable werewolf film ever made and when you consider the money that goes into making big budget Hollywood films, it makes this low budget effort all the more enjoyable. Funny, gory and action packed from start to finish. Any fan of Shaun of the Dead or Severance would love this film and its one that should be seen by all fans of the genre.

Horror! Part 3: Slasher

Welcome to the next part of my horror summary... It’s been a while since I did Fangs, Claws, Tentacles and Jaws but I thought I would return to my brief histories piece. Next under the knife (pun intended) are Slashers!

Slashers occupy that small void of space between thriller and exploitation. Without any doubt, Slashers are the least educated of all the horror sub genre's and they are generally down the list in terms of everything else too. For the purposes of this entry, Slashers also include "splatter" and gore films.

Slasher films are generally low budget and usually follow a very similar and often linear pattern. As with the previous two parts (Zombies, Fangs, Claws, Tentacles & Jaws) there are far too many films to remember so this is a very broad and generic overview. Hopefully I will not upset anyone and if I have left out any obviously note-worthy slasher films, I apologise in advance. So without further ado, let me begin...

Maybe it wasn’t actually the first slasher film but it is certainly one of the most well known and original films of all time. Said film was presented to us by the master of suspense! Alfred Hitchcock. Psycho is

widely regarded as the mother of all slashers. Anthony Perkins here played Norman Bates who, along with his mother is proprietor of The Bates Motel. A quaint little motel which plays host to a young Janet Leigh. Leigh plays Marion Crane, a secretary who finds herself on the run after stealing $40,000. Although the death count is way below par compared with more modern slashers, the suspense alone is enough to see it gain entry. Not to mention the iconic shower scene which has been emulated countless times.

Hitchcock's magic with the camera is perfectly illustrated as Marion Crane is fleeing the city with the stolen cash. The scene lasts a few minutes and it is as simple as they come. A Camera fixed to the bonnet of her car, watches her face as she believes she is getting further and further away from any possible danger. The irony of what follows makes the whole scene feel much more intense. In true Hitchcock fashion, Psycho keeps you guessing to the end and beyond as anyone who has seen it will know!

Blood Feast was released three years after Psycho and saw the birth of the "Splatter Film". Directed by

Herschell Gordon Lewis, Blood Feast follows an Egyptian caterer who butchers people for ritualistic sacrifice and to include the specialist ingredients in his dishes. The following year, Lewis directed Two Thousand Maniacs. Another splatter film and the second part of what would become known as The Blood Trilogy. Completed in 1965 with Color me Blood Red. Lewis would (much) later direct a sequel to Blood Feast. 2002 saw the release of Blood Feast 2: All You can Eat and it continues pretty much where the first left off. Two Thousand Maniacs was remade in 2005 and released under the title 2001 Maniacs. Robert Englund stars in the remake and it was Englund who would provide the world with one of the most iconic killers in movie history. More on that later.

The 1970's saw a massive influx of slasher films, varying from exploitation to masked maniacs. Wes Cravens' first offering was from the exploitation range with his vision of a rape/revenge film. Last House on the Left (1972) was graphic and horrific in equal doses. Two young girls are held against their will by a group of criminals who include Krug Stillo, played by David Hess. Krug is a serial killer and rapist who personifies evil appears to be the leader of the group which also includes a psychopath and a child molesterer. It sort of covers every base for a stereotypic group of maniacal serial killers.

Last House on the Left includes various graphic scenes and some which would make even the hardest of horror fans cringe but it also features some great revenge killings and portrays perfectly how any normal person would act in the same situation. 2009 saw an extremely week and diluted remake hit the cinemas. The less said about that one, the better I think!

Black Christmas was released in 1974 and really paved the way for the onslaught that followed. Considered to be the first of the more recognisable slasher films, it is the starting point of what would become a long and endless (thus far) road. That same year, a film was released that would not only instil fear into the masses, it would also become one of the genre's first "great" pictures. When you think of the classic slasher films, a small few immediately come to mind but none are quite as raw, gritty and ultimately horrific as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre! A very formulaic storyline nowadays sees a group of friends fighting for their lives in the back of beyond as they battle for survival against the Sawyer family. An evil, sadistic family of inbred butchers, cannibals and serial killers. The main antagonist of the first film being Leatherface! A deformed chainsaw wielding killer who wears the face of his victims as a mask. Originally played by Gunnar Hansen, leatherface’s impact on cinema is immense and remains one of the best horror movie villains of all time. While the original will always be remembered, the same can’t be said for its multiple sequels although a very good attempt at a remake was released in 2003 which itself was followed by a prequel in 2006. As I write this, I am reading of a 3D sequel to the ’74 original which is to be release in 2013 and will be the seventh film in the franchise.

Moving away from Texas, the mid to late seventies continued the trend set by the above but everything about horror cinema was to change in 1978! Following on from the relative success of Assault on Precinct 13, John Carpenter took a turn at horror and gave the world... Halloween. Starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Pleasence, Halloween would re-revolutionize the genre and become a timeless classic which to this day is considered by many to be the best horror film ever made. Michael Myers, an escaped mental patient who 15 years previous had murdered family, returns to his home town and begins stalking a young student, Laurie (Curtis). While the film doesn’t change the trends too much, its subtle mix of excellent storytelling and atmospheric music would raise the bar for all that followed.

One such film that followed was Friday the 13th. Released in 1980, Friday the 13th see’s a group of teen counsellors re-opening a camp in the woods. Camp Crystal Lake, for anyone who knows horror will become synonomous with one name. Jason Voorhees. But! In the 1980 film directed by Sean S Cunningham, Camp Crystal Lake is the setting for Jason’s mother, Pamela Voorhees to inflict her revenge for the death of her son years a go by drowning. She blamed the camp councellors and as a result, the new crop of teens which include a young Kevin Bacon are seemingly doomed! It isn’t until the end when the story takes a twist as the viewer see’s the first reference of Jason. This box office success would pave the way for an unprecedented franchise and would even include a cross-over with another famed villain, Freddy Kruegar. No mention of Friday the 13th Part 2 could be made without special note and a tip of the hat to Mario Bava. Bava’s 1971 film Twitch of the Death Nerve (A.K.A Bay of Blood) was directly imitated in Friday part 2 during a few of the death scenes and Bava’s work has been a constant source of inspiration on the slasher genre. Friday the 13th Part 3 saw Jason adopt the now famous hockey mask and time after time Jason is killed off only to return in another sequel. One such sequel even puts Jason in a futuristic world as after being frozen, he is thawed on Earth 2 in the year 2455! Now if that isn’t enough to kill a franchise I don’t know what is!

Anyhow, The franchise was almost brought back to life in 2009 with a very lame remake, unfortunately the anticipation of release and the gloomy looking photo still’s of a menacing Jason were more exciting than the film itself! A similar fate awaited the next franchise on this piece..

So we have had Michael and Jason, now it is the turn of Freddy. A whole new kind of horror movie villain. 1984 saw the release of another Wes Craven slasher and the birth of Freddy Kruegar. A Nightmare on Elm Street and its following sequels would take more of a focus on the antagonist than anything else and although originally intended to be an evil, menacing killer, Freddy would ultimately become a tongue-in-cheek killer wielding his one liners almost as much as his razor clad gloves! He stalks young kids in their dreams and once he kills them there, they die for real. The first film was very menacing and some awesome filming effects delivered yet another horror classic, it was also the first major role for little known actor, John Christopher Depp II. That evil, menacing version of Freddy was sort of realised in Craven’s return to the franchise, New Nightmare. New Nightmare removed a lot of the comedy from the film and focused much more on horror. With what would soon follow, it is quite easy to see how Craven was playing with new concepts and ideas.

I could simply list the slasher films of the 70’s and 80’s but to be honest, that just sounds really boring and as most follow a similar pattern, it would also be a bit repetitive. So, with the important round-ups done, we move forward to the decade I remember fondly... The Nineties! By the time the 90’s rolled round, the slasher genre had become somewhat stagnant. Sequel after sequel slowly killing the genre from the inside until... salvation! An old faithful did something he is quite good at doing by reinvigorating the genre with Scream. Released in 1996, even if this is a contradiction to the surroundings, Scream had a much more “family friendly” feel. Gone were the dark, gritty and cheap feeling slashers of the 70’s and the same old used up characters of the 80’s. This was a new start for the genre and one which was very welcome indeed. Followed itself by 3 sequels to date, the franchise has become the most successful in the genre.

As time rolled on more of the same would follow until eventually we have come full circle and we are now living in world where the slasher genre is stuck in a loop of cheap Halloween/Scream rip-off’s, prequels, sequels and remakes. Although not all are terrible, it ultimately leads us to believe that the inevitable has arrived and despite the best efforts of those who have served the genre so well in the past, Slasher’s are dying a slow and painful death. The last morsels of originality picked off long ago leaving us with nothing but scraps. Or is it?

While the slasher film in the traditional sense may be declining, a new sub-sub-genre of this lucrative sub-genre has emerged. Like a flaming phoenix from the ashes, films like Hostel and Saw have created their own market and in my opinion, should be considered distant relatives of the slasher genre. Well, writing about these films is becomming almost as boring as watching some of them, so I am going to end it with this. Directors, Writers, please give us an original slasher film to entertain and enthrall us, if you can't do that. Just don't bother! The last thing I want to see is another lame remake of a sequel that wasn't even that good first time round! Zombie, i'm looking at you here. Dont even think about Halloween 3!!!

Remakes: Are they as bad as we think?

I thought it was high time I finally got around to the topic of Re-Makes. Many people believe re-makes are the bane of Hollywood at this precise moment in time. If it’s not an action flick from years gone by, it’s a classic Horror! Have the writers just simply given up or are the studio exec’s looking for the easy score, regurgitating already fruitful assets of yesteryear? Whatever the case may be the list seems to be ever increasing. With no end in sight it seems that I am just going to have to learn to accept it and embrace the new age of cinema!

Try to believe me, they are not all terrible. In the world of Horror, the remake is perhaps more prominent but with a portfolio expanding through remakes, retellings and (for all intents and purpose) prequels and sequels I could go for a while but I have decided to give a Semi-brief [self] opinionated report on the subject matter. As I do like lists, at the end of this post I will also give my personal top 10 best and worst Horror Remakes for your reading pleasures.

Although the remake is not a new concept, it’s in the last 10 years that we have seen a massive increase in the numbers that get churned out. Without even taking into account the numerous remakes, retellings etc of Bram Stoker’s fabled tale we have films surrounding Frankenstein and his various monsters, countless incarnations of Lycanthropes, the tale of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, The island of lost souls and Dr Moreau and so many others that have all been retold and adapted throughout the last century or so. From my memory, the first remake in this sense that I remember watching was probably Night of the Living Dead. When I first saw it I was blissfully unaware of George A. Romero’s 1968 original but at the age I was, I could be forgiven. Directed by Tom Savini who is perhaps better known for his work as a special effects/make-up artist, working on films like Dawn of the Dead and Friday the 13th he made a name for himself.

Although his directing credits haven’t really been expanded, he didn’t do himself any harm with this remake.

A few more that got the remake treatment in the 90’s were Psycho, The Haunting and Village of the Damned. While Village was directed by John Carpenter and was not too bad, The Haunting, originally released in 1963 and remade in 1999 starred Liam Neeson, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Owen Wilson. It was a family friendly little ghost story with a few redeeming features that didn’t really come close to the

original but fairly enjoyable as a stand-alone film. Although I am sure everyone involved, including Vince Vaughn agree that they really shouldn’t have bothered with the dross 1998 offering, Psycho!

As we move into the naughties the remake really begins to pick up pace and films like The Ring and The Grudge from Japan acting as the catalyst for the insurgence. The Ring, again one I saw in the cinema in English before I had seen the original although, I was aware of it this time.

From the opening scene which featured the petrified expression of a young girl I knew it was going to be creepy. In fact, I was so impressed with Gore Verbrinski’s film that it made its way into my Top 10 Horror films of all time.

I have since seen all the Japanese versions and although I do love the American version, the originals are so much more atmospheric.

Atmosphere! Something that is well generated in all Asian Horror films but is usually the main aspect that lacking from the remakes. If they managed to get this part right, the remake may not have had such a bad reputation! Such poor attempts include Pulse, a dull remake of the 2001 Japanese film, Kairo. The remake starred Kristen Bell, someone who should not be in films for obvious reasons! The English language version also spawned two sequels. Despite the plus sides shown by The Ring and to a slightly lesser extent The Grudge, most English Language remakes fall way short of the originals, One Missed Call, Dark Water just to name a few from Japan and The Eye, starring Jessica Alba is an example of a poor remake of a very good film from China and some Korean examples include The Uninvited and Mirrors, both of these are slightly above average in remake terms but pale in comparison.

English Language remakes are not restricted to the Far East though, a new source of interest is being generated in Scandinavia. With Let the right one in from Sweden being remade by Hammer as Let Me In. Recent successes like this along with The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series could lead to more from the likes of Sweden, Norway and Denmark in the near future.

One of my favourite English Language remakes comes in the shape of Quarantine, a remake of Spanish film [REC] The American version being very atmospheric and well acted. Although REC is still perhaps more highly regarded, it would appear that with the release of REC 3, people might begin to think... One Sequel too many as the franchise begins to steer towards a more comedy horror feel!

Let’s bring this thing right up to date and play the big money cards. Recent remakes have included A Nightmare on Elm Street which was remade for some reason without the one redeeming feature from the initial franchise... Robert Englund as Freddy!

Friday the 13th was remade in 2009 with a complete lack of regard for the original. Firstly ignoring the original killer, Mrs Voorhees and secondly making it a blatant, boring, unimaginative slasher film in the vein of Jason X!

Halloween is yet another classic horror to receive the reboot treatment. This time the director, Rob Zombie decided to focus on the early period of Michael’s life. His upbringing and his time spent with Dr Loomis (Played by Malcolm McDowell) All in all, Rob Zombie’s Halloween was not too bad, seeing a

different side to the trouble Michael Myers was a welcome treat however, Halloween 2, also remade by Zombie returns to the mundane slasher stereotype with a few extra’s thrown in as a mediocre attempt to shock viewers. In my opinion, this was one remake too far! The one constant with most new remakes is a distinctly darker feel to the whole film, in other genre’s this has worked. A

brilliant example is Christopher Nolan’s much needed spin on Batman but in terms of Horror films, sometimes darker may not always equal better!

More remakes from the slasher world have come with titles like 2001 Maniacs, My Bloody Valentine and Prom Night but a few have gone above and beyond. Texas Chainsaw Massacre is perhaps one of the most notorious and controversial horror films of the 20th century and in 2003, it was remade. The remake itself wasn’t half bad. Providing us with some interesting spins and good gore but it was three years later with the release of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning that disappointed! With what had promised so much, the film had very little in the way of structure. As with the sequel of the

Halloween remake, it was more of an exercise in blood, gore and shocks with very little to cement its place as a classic horror film!

Now, following on from one mentioned earlier, 2004 saw the release of what is certainly in my eyes the best re-make so far. Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead, whether you love it or hate it, no one can deny that while it does maintain some of the original aspects what it does deliver better than most is hard hitting action on the backdrop of a zombie apocalypse! Starring Sarah Polley, Jake Weber, Ving Rhames and Mekhi Phifer anyone could be forgiven for adopting this as a new film. I know, the original is far superior and a classic in its own right but if you forget for one moment that Romero’s 1978 classic was ever made.

Zack Snyder’s version is a brilliant movie and one which I class as a go-to film. C’mon, everyone has their go-to films. One that after standing in front of the collection for half an hour and still undecided on what to watch, you turn to the old faithfuls... I have a few but Dawn of the Dead is certainly towards the top of that pile.

Following on the immediate success of Dawn of the Dead and Mr Romero’s very own independent films; Land of the Dead & Diary of the Dead, someone obviously decided it would be a good idea to remake another classic. Regarded by many to be Romero’s finest (Personally I still think Night is the best) Day of the Dead was the film in question. Directorial responsibilities fell to Steve Miner. A director whose track record has taken him through pretty much every genre with credits ranging from Forever young to House (The 1986 Horror Comedy with William Catt, not the hospital drama!) More notable horror credits include

Friday the 13th Parts 2 & 3 and Lake Placid. At least with these films behind him, Day of the Dead could have been another fantastic stride in the revolution of remakes. Unfortunately it wasn’t. The tired storyline mixed with the bland characters and the complete and total destruction of a much loved zombie establishment, Bub not to mention the additional desperate act of casting Dawn’s main ass-kicker, Ving Rhames all helped make Day a very forgettable experience!

With the flavour of the month being Romero, The Crazies was next in line to be remade. Starring Timothy Olyphant, the 2010 version was quite good and while it did pull in some cash it also raised the barricade and mystique surrounding the original as until the remake came along, there were few people outside of horror circles that had even heard of Romero’s ’73 biological infection film.

The Hills have Eyes was originally directed by Wes Craven in 1977 and as with most of the original horror films I’ve mentioned, it had a very low budget and an extremely good return. Fairly obvious otherwise we

might never have heard of Mr Craven. Anyway, I digress. Craven’s ‘77 cannibal/hill folk movie was remade in 2006 by Alexandre Aja. The film starred Aaron Stanford, Dan Byrd and Ted Levine. While the remake had a somewhat larger purse than the original, it still did fairly well in the profit margin area and is certainly up there with Dawn of the Dead as one of my go-to films. I think the thing that impressed me most was, as with a lot of Wes Craven’s films, there is a great emphasis on the rising hero and as such, the hero wins the day in flamboyant fashion after battling through great hardship. Possible exception is A Nightmare on Elm Street but With The Hills have Eyes, there is a massive “clenched fist” feel as you will the hero on his path! Enjoyable stuff right there! Regrettably the same praise cannot be lavished on the sequel which was forgettable from the get go!

The next view comes in the shape of a very iconic house but more about the story that surrounds it. 112 Ocean Avenue. Some will instantly recognise the address but to those who are scratching their heads, this was the scene of the infamous DeFeo murders and subsequent Lutz tales of haunting and possession! Of course, it’s The Amityville Horror! Remade in 2005, Amityville had originally been destroyed by unconnected direct-to-video sequels but with the remake, the franchise received a much

needed boost. Starring Ryan Reynolds and Melissa George, the remake packs its own style while maintaining a few of the

key elements that made the 1979 original so compelling. Although the original may be seen by many to be superior, I really liked the remake and class it as my third “go-to” film.

Weird, most of my go-to’s are remakes?? Oh well.

A mention must be made to a few more ghostly occurrences. Firstly a film which was originally made in 1960 with a nice little gimmick; 13 Ghosts saw the viewer given special glasses in order to view the ghosts. Although unimpressive by today’s standards, in 1960 I am sure it was very enjoyable. Anyway, it was remade in 2001, starring Tony Shalhoub and Matthew Lillard, Thir13en

Ghosts was another remake that received extremely negative reviews but despite all that press I rate it very high indeed. Great imagery with the ghosts and some good acting made it for me at least very enjoyable. The next comes in the shape of House on Haunted Hill. The original starring Vincent Price was released in 1959 and was certainly more story based but as was the case with most early horror films, it hasn’t really stood the test of time in terms of scares. The 1999 remake on the other hand relied mainly on its shock, blood and gore with a few thrills and spills thrown in for good measure. Starring Geoffrey Rush as the millionaire Stephen H. Price, Famke

Janssen as his misses’, Jeffrey Combs as the ever evil Dr. Vannacutt and Taye Diggs, Ali Larter and Chris Kattan as a few of the guests, the remake was a very good example of the type of horror film that originally got me hooked. It was more readily available than a lot of the classics and as such served me very well as a 15-16 year old young horror fanatic!

So, as we have seen, the remake has a long and sometimes illustrious past and a future that seems to be inevitably unavoidable. The remakes have had a sort of one step forward, two steps back pattern as they meander along their very unimaginative path. Where some thrill and come very close to their originals, others fall horrifically short! In answer to the question posed at the top of this article, I firmly believe that remakes have had an unfair run, while it is agreed that some have fired a blank there are so many which make up very good, enjoyable and sometimes in their own little quirky ways, original films.

I might change my tune if they fuck up The Evil Dead though!

Now for the round-up; I have compiled my lists of Top 10 Best and Worst Horror remakes for your enjoyment, please give your feedback on opinions. If I have missed any obvious films, I will apologise in advance, my research has consisted of remembering films which I have seen.

Top 10 Best Horror Remakes:

10. Quarantine

9. Texas Chainsaw Massacre

8. House on Haunted Hill

7. Grudge

6. Halloween

5. The Hills have Eyes

4. The Amityville Horror

3. The Thing (1982)

2. The Ring

1. Dawn of the Dead



Top 10 Worst Horror Remakes:

10. The Eye

9. Halloween 2

8. A Nightmare on Elm Street

7. The Hills have Eyes 2

6. Don’t be afraid of the Dark

5. The Omen

4. Pulse

3. The Wicker Man

2. Psycho

1. The Fog

Movie Review: Granny (1999)

Play nice kids!

Ok, let me start this one off by saying, The Misses bought me this (Thank you) along with The Salena Incident and Knock Knock. So, I wasn't expecting much.... To be perfectly honest, I was expecting a certain level! Unfortunately, Granny did not serve up the cookies this time!

Calling this a film is so far from the truth, you might as well call it bananphone! In reality, Granny is a 25 minute long short-film that has had every scene stretched to breaking point in order to hit that 60 minute mark as advertised on the DVD case. Maybe they printed the cases before finishing the film and just had to make the time up to hit that target. Whatever the reason, watching the eight supposedly college friends sitting around talking about random crap was rather excruciating! To make it all seem a bit less interesting, they don’t even appear to be drunk or for that matter anywhere close to being college students! Quite literally the first 16 minutes of this film are them sat around talking about nothing. The camera switching from wide shots to close up's and back again until I was frantically pulling my hair out screaming at the screen. Almost doing the unthinkable and fast forwarding the DVD!

As it turns out, the whole 60 minutes thing was a bit of a blessing, although it would have been better if they hadn't bothered really. I know it may sound a bit harsh and it goes against everything I believe but Granny doesn't give anything to the world of horror. It cuts a lonely figure, reminding us that Scream is still the best in the class when it comes to this sort of teen driven slasher film.

The cast give new meaning to the word wooden, as they fumble their way through the flimsy script, which doesn't really help their cause. Normally in these types of films, we are at least treated to a few one-liners. Sadly, all Granny serves us, is a steadfast reminder of how not to do it. It beggars belief that anyone in their right minds could watch this film and be taken away to that world of imagination and make believe! Even the terrible granny mask and flowing long hair aren't enough to bring a smile to the face and the mask is usually the go-to for bit of praise!

With everything I just said in mind, I was quite pleasantly surprised by the double-barrelled twist at the end. I won’t give anything away (Just in case you want to gouge your eyes out watching this) but after sitting through 59 minutes of this film, we are finally given something resembling my old friend, quality! Despite this not being enough to claw back any respect, it didn't seem as much of a waste of my time as it had originally looked.

Granny, serves up very little in the way of gore, sprecial effects, storyline, acting. Well anything really. It is quite easy to see how this remains Boris Pavlovsky's first and only effort in the world of movies.

Other than the last 30 seconds, if there was anything on a positive note I could say, it would be that the production value isn't terrible and the needles through the glasses did get a chuckle! That’s it. I apologise to Boris and the rest of the production crew of Granny as they obviously put in minutes of hard graft to get them to agree to put this onto a DVD and actually selling it to sane, good heated people in the real world!


Released: 1999

My Rating: 1.5

Movie Review: Savage Island (2005)

Keeping it in the Family!

The misses chose this one after having been overlooked many, many times before. I suppose with all the crap I make her watch, I couldn't exactly say no!

The story starts with a couple, Julia & Steven along with their baby Alex, travelling to see Julia's parents, the Young family. Julia is clearly frustrated with the marriage and Steven doesn’t hold back in letting her know his feelings about spending his vacation on an island in the middle of nowhere. The Young’s live on a small island which is currently inhabited by a family of squatters, the Savage family, as well as themselves. As Julia & Steven are waiting for the boat to take them across the water they meet two members of the Savage family.

What follows is an uneasy and unnerving scene which showcases perfectly what kind of a family they are. With this unpleasantness behind them, Julia's brother Peter arrives with the boat. After arriving on the island and under the influence of some wacky backy, Peter begins driving a bit irrationally and before long they hit something. Thinking it was just a deer; they leave and make their way to the house. In fact what they have hit will set off a chain of events which will culminate with the Savage family trying to take the young baby Alex and what started as a holiday will turn into their worst nightmare.

As for the rest! You will just have to watch and see...
The production value of this film is bad to terrible at best and the acting is not much better (For the most part) Somehow they managed to cast the late Don S. Davis of Stargate SG-1 fame as Julia's father, Keith. This is a move which sad to say fails to make up for the rest of the cast. The storyline on the other hand is rather good. Quite original in a sort of Texas Chainsaw way but... And this is a massive BUT, it is disastrously let down by the ending. Shock endings are always good in these types of horror films but not this time I’m afraid. You may think differently, you may love the ending. In my opinion, they could have done so much better! Do not let my views put you off though!

Despite the poor aspects of this film, Savage Island had a great base and if they had a bit more cash to splash, it would have been a different machine entirely. As I said, the misses picked this one out and whether it was an attempt to justify her decision or not, she really liked it and I didn't hate it. If low budget shock horror films with a twist are your thing, you should definitely give it a whirl.

Released: 2005

My Rating: 4.5