Movie Review: House of Bones (2010)

When you’re me and you see a film called House of Bones, you pick it up and without question hold it in your hand while you look for more films to buy. Then when you get it home and realise that it stars Corin Nemec and Charisma Carpenter, an eyebrow raises as you think to yourself, not bad. Could I have found one of those rare hidden gems here?!

The film begins with a flashback to the 1950’s and the (not so mysterious) disappearance of a young boy. Skip forward 60 years and we are confronted with a cheesy, TV style opening credits in which we are introduced to a few of the characters and the overall premise for the film. A crew of Ghost Hunters filming a reality TV show have chosen their latest haunt! It soon becomes apparent that this foreboding house known as The Wicker House may have more than just skeletons in the closet!

As I said before, the film “stars” Corin Nemec but I can’t help feeling that maybe he owed someone a favour. He plays the “face” of the show called Sinister Sites who, until the shows rating begin to dip, hasn’t done field work. The extent of his involvement has been to stand in front of a blue screen and talk the talk! His part is not extensive and if I’m honest, the film may have benefited from either; not including his part or altering it so it wasn’t such a “comic relief”. A relief that didn’t lend anything to the film, in fact, it sort of took away from the eerie feelings that are quite acceptably generated throughout.

The other name on the cover comes in the shape of Charisma Carpenter, readers may recognize her from the Buffy and Angel series’. In massively stark contrast to Nemec, Carpenter’s role is vital to the film and her performance only serves to increase the view ability. She plays a medium who has been employed to work on the show. Almost immediately, her spidey senses pick up on something sinister within the house!

While the storyline is fairly formulaic, it is well executed and very capably delivered by the cast. Of the cast, besides Nemec and Carpenter, Ricky Wayne plays Tom, the series’ producer. His role is fairly well played as is that of techie and paranormal investigator, Colin Galyean and Marcus L Brown respectively. The special effects for the most part were impressive, the occasional floating mist did very little to diminish the overall complexion.

As haunted house movies go there isn’t actually that much ground to be shook. The bar set fairly high by the likes of The Shining and Amityville, however each one tries and for the most part they fail miserably. House of Bones would find a nice comfortable place somewhere in the middle. Easy on the eye while not being incredibly original but that should by no means steer anyone away from watching what was a fairly enjoyable little horror flick.

Released: 2010

My Rating: 6.5

Movie Review: Scream of the Banshee (2011)

When you consider that the last After Dark Original I watched was the very entertaining Husk and before that, it was the previously reviewed The Task, I was expecting more of the same. Unfortunately, all I can say is I hope the next one I watch will be a marked improvement on this dull, lifeless and all round lacklustre attempt at a Horror Film.

Let me take you back a bit. I received The Task as a Christmas present and on the back of that I decided to get the collection of After Dark Originals. Having previously enjoyed various After Dark films including Penny Dreadful and Zombie Virus on Mulberry Street I knew that this collection of films would be one for me. I did my usual pre-movie research which includes reading the cover of the DVD and a quick look on IMdB to see how the rest of the populous rate it. After looking on the cover for Scream of the Banshee, I was filled with promise as I noticed the horror legend that is Lance Henriksen has a credit in this film. My thoughts were so-so on the inclusion of Lauren Holly, who I haven’t actually seen since Dumb and Dumber.

Anyway, to the film itself; as I said, all things pointed towards an enjoyable film but, it wasn’t long before that early promise was slowly vacuumed from my mind! Within minutes of suffering through Lauren Holly’s vapid portrayal, I was disappointed! As my philosophy on films is no matter what, I can’t turn a film off; I stuck with it in the hope that Lance Henriksen would hopefully provide some much needed depth and structure to the fast declining storyline. 

The film itself starts with a Knight capturing a banshee in Ireland in the 12th century and trapping it in a box. As we skip forward to present day and for some reason that box has wound up in a school in America. Professor Maura Whelan, an archaeology professor who receives a gauntlet which is thought to be of 12th century. With the gauntlet was a map which shows the location of a secret room in the school. This room was quickly found and inside was the aforementioned box. Seems legit, right? I know!

Anyway, once they swiftly work out how to open the box, they are confronted with something none of them could have imagined. It slowly goes downhill from there! 

The cast as a whole is poor, Lauren Holly plays the professor and her two assistants provide very little in the way of contrast or intelligence! Once we do finally see Lance, it is a major let down and quite frankly; they could have put anyone in that role and accomplished the same result! Actually, the best performance comes from the professor’s daughter, played by Marcelle Baer. As for the overall feel of the film, the editing was rather terrible. Each scene ending with an abrupt change in music made the whole thing feel like a really bad made for TV film! Special effects were not terrible but the costume/make-up on the banshee itself was weak at best. 

As storyline’s go, this one was almost non-existent. The whole plot just seemed to happen! There was no struggle or hardship. Everything just appeared to be in the right place when they wanted it there! If that makes sense to anyone, good, I knew what I was trying to say!

If there was one good thing I could say about this film, I would say it. As some of you may know, I rarely give out bad reviews as I try to see the good in everything but there was very little charm in this effort. Unfortunately, there was not enough bourbon to glaze my opinion! As a collection, I would of course say you must watch this film but so far, this is the worst of the After Dark Originals. Watch this space for the next one!

Released: 2011

My Rating: 2

Movie Review: Fingerprints (2006)

Let me set the scene. I am stood in my local DVD retailer and I’ve just realised I have accrued enough points to warrant a free £10 in store. After perusing the latest releases, I decide that the smart money would be spent on a few more Random Horror films instead. One such film came in the shape of this talkie from 2006!

Although the film has all the clichéd hallmarks of a lower budget horror/thriller, it is not without its charm. Starring Leah Pipes, Kristin Cavallari, Josh Henderson, Andrew Lawrence and the one and only, Lou Diamond Phillips. Fingerprints starts with the horrific scenes of a tragic bus-train accident in the 1950’s in which a lot of the town’s children lost their lives. The story jumps forward to present day where we are introduced to Melanie (Pipes) and her sister, Crystal Cavallari).               

As the film goes on we establish the “clichés” the love interest, Penn, played by Josh Henderson and the joker Mitch who is well played (for the most part) by Andrew Lawrence. Lou Diamond Phillips is introduced part way through the film as teacher and Counsellor, Doug. His relationship with Melanie provides yet another horror cliché but one which is standard enough to pass by without complaint.

The basic storyline features a local tale in which stopping your car in neutral in front of the rail crossing leads the ghosts of the ill-fated children to push you over the rest of the way. A tightly wound conspiracy begins to unravel itself as Melanie begins seeing the ghost of one young girl called Julie. As usual no one believes her, so she must solve the problem herself. 

The characterisation is perhaps one of the better aspects of the overall film with some great contrast provided by the sisters themselves. One is a brunette with a wild past and a bit of a loner while the other is your typical ditzy blonde cheerleader who is friends with everyone. The two school friends come hand in hand with the sisters as Henderson’s Penn is the all American pretty boy and Lawrence’s Mitch, a bad boy with no restraints! 

To pull the whole thing into place and something that I found a bit unnecessary was the treatment of Melanie by her mother. Obviously Melanie has done something in the past but the way she is treat by her mum just made me want to punch her. In that regard, the character was very well played by Ginger Gilmartin (according to IMDB, her only credited role to date)

All in all, Fingerprints is a very solid film. From start to finish it kept me interested and with the exception of some poor special effects, it was very good. With a bit more cash spent on FX it could have been something completely different. Not to diss the Diamond but maybe if they had forgone his fee a bit more could have been placed elsewhere but then maybe it wouldn’t have got the production value without him?? Who knows? Either way, the film mixes some good ideas with some good acting and the overall result is a fairly decent and entertaining watch. Imagine Stir of Echoes mixed with The Ring and a bit of Scream thrown in for fun and that is what they were trying to achieve.

 

Released: 2006

My Rating: 6

Movie Review: Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Ok, so I know this is supposed to be Random Horror but I recently watched a few personal favourites and I thought I would utilise this medium to write about one of them. Everyone has that moment while watching a particular movie or even several when you find yourself with an overwhelming urge to watch it again immediately! Granted, that probably happens to me a lot more than it happens to most other people, what with my love for “rubbish” films and a reluctance to dish out any sort of bad review. One such occurrence came about 30 minutes into the remake of Dawn of the Dead!

Anyone who has read my previous post about remakes will know that I rate Dawn of the Dead as the best Horror remake so far and for anyone who likes horror films and has seen DOTD will hopefully agree that it deserves its place among the elite. Even for a remake, in my humble opinion it holds its own against the originals of the world.

For anyone who has not seen the remake, or dare I say it, the original then not only are you missing out but what the fuck have you been doing. I think you may be in the wrong place, if you haven’t seen either one but anyway, if you haven’t, pay attention.

Dawn of the Dead follows the lives of Ana, Kenneth, Michael and a host of others after a zombie outbreak hits the fair city of Milwaukee. The group decide to hold up and struggle for survival in a local shopping mall. The trials and tribulations of the group stretch far beyond the hardships of dealing with the zombie threat and they must work together to find a way to survive. While the storylines of zombie films tend not to sway too much from the standards set by Romero, they all include their own little quirks and gems which make them unique. This is no different, ok so the original was set in a mall but to compare the two films would be rather pointless. Small differences throughout help to create an original film which, whilst maintaining a certain level of nostalgia opens up its own chapter in the story. This clearly appeals to fans of horror in general and fans of the 1978 film. Unfortunately, this is something which was sadly way off the mark with the release of Day of the Dead, whose diabolical attempt to include one of the most recognisable zombies in movie history fell way short! The inclusion of a character called Bud, an obvious and lame attempt to connect the remake to the original via Howard Sherman’s Bub! The less said about this film though, the better!

Dawn of the Dead combines a great mix of humour, satire and gore coupled with on screen performances from an awesome case that includes the great Ving Rhames, Sarah Polley, Jake Weber, Mekhi Phifer, Ty Burrell, Michael Kelly and many others make the whole experience that little bit more enjoyable. Little touches like cameos from Ken Foree, Scott Reininger and Tom Savini only serve to increase the enjoyment! Anyone who doesn’t know who these people are should stop reading now!

While there are other more “original” zombie films available in the market today, films of this calibre help boost the genre in a way no other film can. Ask anyone which film they preferred out of Dawn of the Dead and Zombie virus on Mulberry Street for example and nine times out of ten the answer would be, mulberry what? This would prove my point perfectly!

Despite the obvious qualities of the remake, there are a few purists out there which do not give much credence to remakes for the simple fact that they are remakes! It sounds silly in a world where cinema is dominated with rebooted versions of loved films from years gone by and this is not limited to the horror world. At this moment in time, Total Recall is performing rather well at the box office and Dredd 3d is just around the corner!

Whichever way you lean, there is no denying that Dawn of the Dead is a fantastic film and one which deserves extra credit for helping to introduce the current generation of zombie fans to the genre I love so much!

Released: 2004

My Rating: 8.5

Horror! Part 3: Slasher

Welcome to the next part of my horror summary... It’s been a while since I did Fangs, Claws, Tentacles and Jaws but I thought I would return to my brief histories piece. Next under the knife (pun intended) are Slashers!

Slashers occupy that small void of space between thriller and exploitation. Without any doubt, Slashers are the least educated of all the horror sub genre's and they are generally down the list in terms of everything else too. For the purposes of this entry, Slashers also include "splatter" and gore films.

Slasher films are generally low budget and usually follow a very similar and often linear pattern. As with the previous two parts (Zombies, Fangs, Claws, Tentacles & Jaws) there are far too many films to remember so this is a very broad and generic overview. Hopefully I will not upset anyone and if I have left out any obviously note-worthy slasher films, I apologise in advance. So without further ado, let me begin...

Maybe it wasn’t actually the first slasher film but it is certainly one of the most well known and original films of all time. Said film was presented to us by the master of suspense! Alfred Hitchcock. Psycho is

widely regarded as the mother of all slashers. Anthony Perkins here played Norman Bates who, along with his mother is proprietor of The Bates Motel. A quaint little motel which plays host to a young Janet Leigh. Leigh plays Marion Crane, a secretary who finds herself on the run after stealing $40,000. Although the death count is way below par compared with more modern slashers, the suspense alone is enough to see it gain entry. Not to mention the iconic shower scene which has been emulated countless times.

Hitchcock's magic with the camera is perfectly illustrated as Marion Crane is fleeing the city with the stolen cash. The scene lasts a few minutes and it is as simple as they come. A Camera fixed to the bonnet of her car, watches her face as she believes she is getting further and further away from any possible danger. The irony of what follows makes the whole scene feel much more intense. In true Hitchcock fashion, Psycho keeps you guessing to the end and beyond as anyone who has seen it will know!

Blood Feast was released three years after Psycho and saw the birth of the "Splatter Film". Directed by

Herschell Gordon Lewis, Blood Feast follows an Egyptian caterer who butchers people for ritualistic sacrifice and to include the specialist ingredients in his dishes. The following year, Lewis directed Two Thousand Maniacs. Another splatter film and the second part of what would become known as The Blood Trilogy. Completed in 1965 with Color me Blood Red. Lewis would (much) later direct a sequel to Blood Feast. 2002 saw the release of Blood Feast 2: All You can Eat and it continues pretty much where the first left off. Two Thousand Maniacs was remade in 2005 and released under the title 2001 Maniacs. Robert Englund stars in the remake and it was Englund who would provide the world with one of the most iconic killers in movie history. More on that later.

The 1970's saw a massive influx of slasher films, varying from exploitation to masked maniacs. Wes Cravens' first offering was from the exploitation range with his vision of a rape/revenge film. Last House on the Left (1972) was graphic and horrific in equal doses. Two young girls are held against their will by a group of criminals who include Krug Stillo, played by David Hess. Krug is a serial killer and rapist who personifies evil appears to be the leader of the group which also includes a psychopath and a child molesterer. It sort of covers every base for a stereotypic group of maniacal serial killers.

Last House on the Left includes various graphic scenes and some which would make even the hardest of horror fans cringe but it also features some great revenge killings and portrays perfectly how any normal person would act in the same situation. 2009 saw an extremely week and diluted remake hit the cinemas. The less said about that one, the better I think!

Black Christmas was released in 1974 and really paved the way for the onslaught that followed. Considered to be the first of the more recognisable slasher films, it is the starting point of what would become a long and endless (thus far) road. That same year, a film was released that would not only instil fear into the masses, it would also become one of the genre's first "great" pictures. When you think of the classic slasher films, a small few immediately come to mind but none are quite as raw, gritty and ultimately horrific as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre! A very formulaic storyline nowadays sees a group of friends fighting for their lives in the back of beyond as they battle for survival against the Sawyer family. An evil, sadistic family of inbred butchers, cannibals and serial killers. The main antagonist of the first film being Leatherface! A deformed chainsaw wielding killer who wears the face of his victims as a mask. Originally played by Gunnar Hansen, leatherface’s impact on cinema is immense and remains one of the best horror movie villains of all time. While the original will always be remembered, the same can’t be said for its multiple sequels although a very good attempt at a remake was released in 2003 which itself was followed by a prequel in 2006. As I write this, I am reading of a 3D sequel to the ’74 original which is to be release in 2013 and will be the seventh film in the franchise.

Moving away from Texas, the mid to late seventies continued the trend set by the above but everything about horror cinema was to change in 1978! Following on from the relative success of Assault on Precinct 13, John Carpenter took a turn at horror and gave the world... Halloween. Starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Pleasence, Halloween would re-revolutionize the genre and become a timeless classic which to this day is considered by many to be the best horror film ever made. Michael Myers, an escaped mental patient who 15 years previous had murdered family, returns to his home town and begins stalking a young student, Laurie (Curtis). While the film doesn’t change the trends too much, its subtle mix of excellent storytelling and atmospheric music would raise the bar for all that followed.

One such film that followed was Friday the 13th. Released in 1980, Friday the 13th see’s a group of teen counsellors re-opening a camp in the woods. Camp Crystal Lake, for anyone who knows horror will become synonomous with one name. Jason Voorhees. But! In the 1980 film directed by Sean S Cunningham, Camp Crystal Lake is the setting for Jason’s mother, Pamela Voorhees to inflict her revenge for the death of her son years a go by drowning. She blamed the camp councellors and as a result, the new crop of teens which include a young Kevin Bacon are seemingly doomed! It isn’t until the end when the story takes a twist as the viewer see’s the first reference of Jason. This box office success would pave the way for an unprecedented franchise and would even include a cross-over with another famed villain, Freddy Kruegar. No mention of Friday the 13th Part 2 could be made without special note and a tip of the hat to Mario Bava. Bava’s 1971 film Twitch of the Death Nerve (A.K.A Bay of Blood) was directly imitated in Friday part 2 during a few of the death scenes and Bava’s work has been a constant source of inspiration on the slasher genre. Friday the 13th Part 3 saw Jason adopt the now famous hockey mask and time after time Jason is killed off only to return in another sequel. One such sequel even puts Jason in a futuristic world as after being frozen, he is thawed on Earth 2 in the year 2455! Now if that isn’t enough to kill a franchise I don’t know what is!

Anyhow, The franchise was almost brought back to life in 2009 with a very lame remake, unfortunately the anticipation of release and the gloomy looking photo still’s of a menacing Jason were more exciting than the film itself! A similar fate awaited the next franchise on this piece..

So we have had Michael and Jason, now it is the turn of Freddy. A whole new kind of horror movie villain. 1984 saw the release of another Wes Craven slasher and the birth of Freddy Kruegar. A Nightmare on Elm Street and its following sequels would take more of a focus on the antagonist than anything else and although originally intended to be an evil, menacing killer, Freddy would ultimately become a tongue-in-cheek killer wielding his one liners almost as much as his razor clad gloves! He stalks young kids in their dreams and once he kills them there, they die for real. The first film was very menacing and some awesome filming effects delivered yet another horror classic, it was also the first major role for little known actor, John Christopher Depp II. That evil, menacing version of Freddy was sort of realised in Craven’s return to the franchise, New Nightmare. New Nightmare removed a lot of the comedy from the film and focused much more on horror. With what would soon follow, it is quite easy to see how Craven was playing with new concepts and ideas.

I could simply list the slasher films of the 70’s and 80’s but to be honest, that just sounds really boring and as most follow a similar pattern, it would also be a bit repetitive. So, with the important round-ups done, we move forward to the decade I remember fondly... The Nineties! By the time the 90’s rolled round, the slasher genre had become somewhat stagnant. Sequel after sequel slowly killing the genre from the inside until... salvation! An old faithful did something he is quite good at doing by reinvigorating the genre with Scream. Released in 1996, even if this is a contradiction to the surroundings, Scream had a much more “family friendly” feel. Gone were the dark, gritty and cheap feeling slashers of the 70’s and the same old used up characters of the 80’s. This was a new start for the genre and one which was very welcome indeed. Followed itself by 3 sequels to date, the franchise has become the most successful in the genre.

As time rolled on more of the same would follow until eventually we have come full circle and we are now living in world where the slasher genre is stuck in a loop of cheap Halloween/Scream rip-off’s, prequels, sequels and remakes. Although not all are terrible, it ultimately leads us to believe that the inevitable has arrived and despite the best efforts of those who have served the genre so well in the past, Slasher’s are dying a slow and painful death. The last morsels of originality picked off long ago leaving us with nothing but scraps. Or is it?

While the slasher film in the traditional sense may be declining, a new sub-sub-genre of this lucrative sub-genre has emerged. Like a flaming phoenix from the ashes, films like Hostel and Saw have created their own market and in my opinion, should be considered distant relatives of the slasher genre. Well, writing about these films is becomming almost as boring as watching some of them, so I am going to end it with this. Directors, Writers, please give us an original slasher film to entertain and enthrall us, if you can't do that. Just don't bother! The last thing I want to see is another lame remake of a sequel that wasn't even that good first time round! Zombie, i'm looking at you here. Dont even think about Halloween 3!!!

Movie Review: Short - The Timeslip (2011)

Although this is less of a horror film and more of a sci-fi, the opportunity to watch and review a film which was sent to me by the co-director/co-producer/co-writer, Jonathan Chance was too good to pass up. Especially considering the last short that was sent to me by a director/producer was the brilliant Familiar. Anyway, Mr Chance is one half of movie makers, The Chance Brothers, who also appear in the film, they have created a very quaint, suspenseful thriller which is enjoyable and thought-provoking in equal measures

A businessman walking through the streets of London, suddenly finds himself flung into the unknown without warning or reason, he is transported to a scarce, barren land of an unknown location. One can only assume that he has somehow found himself in another time!

He frantically searches for some explanation or even a sign of where he is, without success. It isn’t long before the elements begin to take their toll and he must now battle for his own survival. 

The story grows and as it reaches its peak, a whole new problem presents itself as he is stalked through the woods by a presumably primeval group of men.

As I said in the beginning, this film is not really a horror but it does play with some great idea's, one of which being the utter feeling of panic that would be felt if you were thrust into a similar situation. On one hand, you are initially asking how but before long thoughts of why, where and eventually....When! Personally the feeling of solitude would be enough to make me give up but our protagonist fights on and on until the climax of the film, which you will have to just watch for yourself!

With a production value much higher than most shorts and a great story, The Timeslip is a great example of what can be achieved with the right ingredients, you don’t even need lots of money or fancy special effects, sometimes it just works. If you get a chance to see this exciting little short film at any festivals etc, I would certainly recommend it.

My Rating: 6

THE TIMESLIP:

2011 WINNER - BEST SCI-FI FILM
GEEK INDEPENDENT FILM FESTIVAL Alexandria, IN USA

Premiere Official Selection @ Action on Film Festival 2011
Official Selection @ Horror Quest Film Festival 2011
Official Selection @ Killer Film Festival 2011
Official Selection @ Geek Independent Film Festival 2011
Official Selection @ Angeleno Film Festival 2012
Official Selection @ Underground Horror Film Festival 2012
Official Selection @ Radcon 6 Film Festival 2012
Official Selection @ Norwescon 35 Film Festival 2012
Official Selection @ Chicon 7 Film Festival 2012
Official Selection @ Tri-Cities Fantastic Film Festival 2012
Official Selection @ Osfest Film Festival The Gathering 2012





How to fall in love with Random Horror

Well, here I am again. Back after a very long absence. The misses and I welcomed a new addition to the Random Horror family with the birth of our second child. While knee deep in nappies (Diapers to my American friends) I thought it would be a good time to share with you my thoughts on the theory behind Random Horror and how I came to admire what most will never give the time of day too.

It was probably around 2006 when I first decided to watch what I now consider to be a “Random Horror” film. Let me set the scene, my future wife and I decided to settle down on the sofa, as we usually did on a Saturday night with a 1.5l bottle of non-descript Vodka, some lemonade and a few films. At this time my DVD collection was just starting to flourish, the vast majority of the two tiered shelf taken up by Action flicks like Independence Day, Tomb Raider and Die Hard! Although I had always had a great love for horror films, they were never as readily available as others so it would be a few years before our collection would inflate.

In fact, if I set my mind back further, I believe the first DVD I ever purchased was What Lies Beneath, an impulse buy to accompany my very first player, well I needed something to watch that night! The player itself, an unknown manufacturer but I was really desperate and low on funds. It cost a whopping (but relatively low for the time) £149.99 and the film, complete with novelty slip case set me back a further £17.99! Just think of what you can get for that amount of money nowadays!

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes... Our Saturday night film would usually be picked at random from a selection of about six. We came up with a great game to choose, The “Eliminator”. Eliminator would be the start of our Saturday night in! Something changed one night though, a curve ball, something very different managed to find its way into the Eliminator, something that would influence our movie selections indefinitely! Mosquitoman!

I still can’t remember how I came to be in possession of such a bizarre title and even as round after round of Eliminator, it was coming through victorious I kept thinking, WTF!? Until..... Final Selection! Such were the rules of eliminator that the outcome was binding, no matter what the winner, we had to watch it. So, without much deliberation but plenty of confused looks from the misses, I pressed the eject button on the DVD player, sat the disc in the centre of the tray and depressed the eject button once more. A whirring noise followed by several beeps indicated that this disc was real and not only that, it was playing whether we liked it or not!

Now, even with my outlook being as it was, any film deserves attention! I was not expecting much from a film which clearly wore its heart in its title. MosquitoMan! There is not much you can gather from the title other than it would possibly be about a hybrid humanoid, Half Man Half Mosquito! BINGO, you got it but at the time that was all I had to go on! This was a simpler time, a time before Smart Phones and tablets. A time when if you wanted to access the unwieldy behemoth that was the World Wide Web, you needed a computer and a phone line! Two things that in our young relationship had not been high on the priorities list! In those days, if I needed to send an E-Mail, I had to go to the library and pay 20p per hour for the privilege of sitting in a crowded room in order to “surf the net”.

So, there we were enjoying the wonders of a new culture, a culture that would become the staple of our movie watching existence. Possibly to the annoyance of the misses but I think deep down, even though she rarely admitted it, she enjoys them as much as me!

So how do we define a Random horror film? In all honesty, any film can be considered a Random Horror, literally! But it helps if the film has some of the following characteristics;

· unknown cast,
· low budget
· Poor production value
· Terrible title!

Although it is not dependant on those things, it does help. Besides, how do you define Random? Random

could simply be a film that is chosen by means of elimination and blindly picked. You could stick your hand into a bargain bin and buy whatever you grab... Random! For the purposes of my little blog however, A Random Horror film is just a film that most people will either never have heard of or would never usually watch. It might even be a completely underrated film which was totally panned by critics and viewers alike.

It is my experience that some people take films far too seriously, so when you get a film like Hell Asylum which possesses all of the above, I would not simply rate it side by side with the likes of Dawn of the Dead or Psycho. No, it needs special attention. It needs to be watched with almost new, naive eyes. Eyes which, until now have never seen a movie of any sort. Only then can Random Horror films be truly appreciated.

It is through this method that I view every film, whether it’s a summer blockbuster or a 99p bargain bin flick. No discrimination! It is only with this understanding that I am able to subject myself to films which would normally would pass us by without concern, films which aren’t going to be nominated for an Oscar because of obvious reasons or even a Razzie because, well, they’ve never heard of them either!

So, if I was trying to introduce someone to the world of Random Horror, I would give them those few instructions and tell them to watch something random, anything! Our Saturday nights have taken us from MosquitoMan to the likes of Head Cheerleader Dead Cheerleader, Camp Blood, KillJoy, Broken and many, many, many others.

Now we are living in a golden age for low budget independent Horror films, everyone wants to make the
next Blair Witch or Paranormal Activity and all it means for me is the pool is growing and the gap between indies and blockbusters is closing...Fast! In the last few months, films like Christopher Witherspoon’s Rage and the After Dark Original, The Task have been met with positivity and all around the world film makers are coming up with new and inventive ways of grossing us out or scaring us! Just recently, The Human Centipede presented itself with possibly some of the most uncomfortable scenes ever imagined. It also gave us Dr Josef Heiter, quite simply one of the most evil, sadistic and twisted characters ever seen!

The future can only get better and as you can see, it is not hard to fall in love with Random Horror films, you are probably already in love, you just don’t know it yet!

Happy screams!

Movie Review: Surviving Evil (2009)

It was nice to do a few posts about good horror films but now I am catapulting myself back to the abnormality and crazy world of Random Horror!

While perusing round my local random horror treasure cove last week, I stumbled upon a rarity. A film that looked half decent but had Billy Zane on the cover! Weird or what! Now, for anyone who is in the dark about this Zane character, his most notable roles to date include Kate Winslet’s fiancé in Titanic, one of Biffs’ gang members in the Back to the Future films. Other roles include the title role The Phantom and the villain in Dead Calm, an Aussie thriller starring Sam Neill & Nicole Kidman.

Surviving Evil or Evil Island depending on where you purchased the film follows the misfortunes of a documentary film crew as they attempt to film a Bear Grylls style survival doc. The group, led by Seb (Zane) start out on their adventure into the depths of a Philippine island but when strange things begin to plague the film crew, it isn’t long before they are confronted with an evil beyond their worst nightmare!

Boring! I hear you say. Films like this are a dime a dozen as the Americans would say. What we want as a viewer is something different, something which says “Surprise” with massive shock values. Something that gets us on the edge of our seats! Unfortunately, Surviving Evil offers very little in this respect. Its storyline is as formulaic as I have made it sound and the script is not much better. Some good moments from Zane accompanied by Natalie Mendoza (The Descent) are not really enough to keep anyone riveted but do supply us with the greatest entertainment.

As for the evil of which they speak, it turns out that Aswang is quite a generic description for a mythical creature in Philippine folklore. Supposedly similar to Vampires, these creatures have the ability to shape shift, making themselves appear normal one minute but can change their appearance to that of an animal when needed. They feed on the unborn and come with a whole manner of different appearances and attributes according to various legend and fables.

Our versions come with more of a “couldn’t really be bothered” tag. In appearance they resemble the stereotypical cannibal and towards the end of the film they suddenly sprout wings and begin to fly. This leads to some very poor special effects and an extremely anti-climatic ending. There are some scenes of gore to get stuck into but most of the death scenes are unimaginative and instantly forgettable.

While my review may not make you want to rush out and watch Surviving Evil, it wasn’t really without its charm and while I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it to everyone, there are certainly people out there who will enjoy this type of variation on a cannibal film. All in all, I am not going to be too harsh but it could’ve been better.

Released: 2009

My Rating: 5

Who is the Greatest Horror Movie Villain?

Michael, Jason, Freddy? Who’s your favourite? The best bad guy as a sentence almost sounds wrong but it’s a question I pose to you now. I will of course give you a brief overview and add my own little opinion but who is the greatest Horror movie villain?

For as long as there have been horror movies, there have been antagonists, a focal point in stark contrast to the hero, whether that is a man of earthly origins or something much worse. I say worse but when we dissect the list, the vast majority of the really evil ones are human! Male or female, mutant or freak in one way or another humanoid.

Going back to early films, characters like The Golum along with countless vampires and werewolves were very prominent. The Golum being an ancient Jewish legend that depicts a clay statue which was brought to life by a rabbi. With this film being made originally in 1915, very limited footage remains but there were two more Golum films between 1915 and 1920 both of which have survived quite well and are available on DVD. Depending on where you look, you can usually get The Golum: How he came into the world for a bargain price!

Vampires and werewolves have been talked about previously in Horror Part 2: Fangs, Claws, Tentacles and Jaws but Count Dracula certainly falls into the category of Evil Villains! Played by so many different actors it

would be hard to pick just one. Schreck, Lugosi, Langella, Lee, Oldman. All have played the caped Count so well and memorably! Although Bela Lugosi is a personal favourite of mine, I think the sinister portrayal by Gary Oldman in Francis Ford Coppola’s 1992 effort, Bram Stoker’s Dracula deserves a special mention. More early examples that have stood the test of time and indeed penetrated our consciousness through multiple generations are Frankenstein’s monster(s) and The Mummy. Both have been big players in the film industry from its early Hollywood days to modern retellings.

Before I move on, another which would fit into a similar category to the above is the Zombie. A human risen from the dead with a thirst for human flesh and little to no conscience. Although these monsters were seen in early Hollywood films like White Zombie and Revolt of the Zombies, they were popularised with the release of 1968’s independent film, Night of the Living Dead. Directed by the Zombie King George A. Romero, his

zombie saga spanning 40 years and consisting of Night of The Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead, Land of the Dead, Diary of the Dead and most recently Survival of the Dead. With the early ones having all been remade and all have inspired countless Zombie films through time. This saga pretty much serves as the Bible for any Zombie movie fan! It was his original however which gave us the image of the lurching, lumbering zombie which chases you down with a clumsy but unstoppable relenting chill! Bill Hinzman as the cemetery Zombie was our first glimpse of this on screen and as such became one of only

 a handful of iconic zombies along with another Romero classic, Sherman Howard as Bub the Zombie from 1985’s Day of the Dead. We must not forget Big Daddy though, a recent entry seen in Land of the Dead!


Once we hit the 1960’s and 1970’s we are bombarded with exploitative slasher films which above all else have given rise to the masked serial killer! Films like Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Halloween have presented us with Leather-face and Michael Myers respectively. Both homicidal maniacs, along with their weapons of choice they soon rack up the kill counts! From the same genre, Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees certainly deserve

mention, my wife recently said to me that Freddy must be the scariest Horror movie villain... He has knives for fingers and gets you in your sleep! Thats fucking scary! Other villains like The Miner from My Bloody Valentine and Reno Miller from The Driller Killer have not caught the imagination as much as some others but all serve to form part of the history of this immense genre. The world seemed to spin relentlessly with very little change as the 80’s and 90’s gave little in the way of originality, instead opting to spawn sequel after sequel eventually

 leaving us as a limp, salivating stump with arms full of no less than 7 Nightmare on Elm Street films, 8

 Halloween films and 9 Friday the 13th’s! The latter eventually providing us with a tenth instalment in 2002,

 followed by a cross over with Nightmare on Elm Street as an age old question was finally answered in Freddy Vs. Jason! To top it all off, in the new “Re-Make” age, all three have received twenty First Century unimaginative makeovers with Rob Zombie’s Halloween (2007), Friday the 13th (2009) and most recently in 2010, A Nightmare on Elm Street (without the legendary Robert Englund!) None of which have

provided us with anything more than light entertainment. Further to this, Wes Craven who originally gave us Freddy, rejuvenated the slasher genre with Scream and along with it, Ghostface!

Although there was very little to get our teeth into through all the aforementioned slasher icons, a few have permeated the consciousness. A 1986 novel by Steven King entitled IT provided plenty of scares but it was in 1990 when a television film version was first seen that we got to witness just one of the incarnations of IT, Pennywise the Clown. Played by Tim Curry, Pennywise epitomised everything that people fear in clowns! A scene in which a young George Denbrough pleads with

 Pennywise through a drain for his paper boat back is one that stands out. Pennywise’s wry smile as he holds a red balloon eventually uttering the words, “They all float down here!” brings back all those emotions first felt when reading the book! Another was brought to us by the imagination of Clive Barker, Hellraiser introduced the world to the Cenobites but specifically, Pinhead as he is affectionately known!
As we are including humanoid creatures, a small mention to those bipedal aliens with a humanoid appearance. Predator, being one of the more famous entries, looks bad ass with his mask on and looks as alien as they come without it. He was first

seen stalking Arnie through the jungles of Central America in 1987, with the ability to cloak himself in invisibility and a massive canon attached to his shoulder, he was literally the ultimate hunter. Ironically, the film’s early title was Hunter.

A roundup like this is not complete without mentioning Charles Lee Ray, a.k.a The Lakeshore Strangler but I am sure everyone will know him better as Chucky! After a dying crazed killer performs a voodoo ritual his soul is transported into the body of a “good-guys” doll, a seemingly innocent looking, talking child’s toy. No child would ever want one of these things after watching this film (other than maybe me!) as Chucky goes on a murderous

 spree! Chucky fits perfectly in this category as a half human half something else villain but with the added bonus that he looks creepy as fuck! Despite Chucky losing much of his fear factor through multiple comedic remakes, the original still serves as a great example of the reincarnated spirit villain.

In recent years much more elaborate and let’s say evil antagonists have stolen the show. With films like Hostel and Saw, the killers have become much more calculated and far less hidden.
 For example,

[Spoiler Alert] **** John Kramer or Jigsaw was hidden in plain sight in the first Saw film. This was followed by a string of sequels, some even following on his work after his own death. As such Tobin Bell is
credited with starring in all seven Saw films to date.

Hostel on the other hand puts any rich or curious person in the hot seat as people pay for the thrill of killing. A businessman entices young travellers to the location where they are subsequently bound and killed by rich thrill seekers and other types of fat cats. So the killers are not quite as available as with others because anyone could be the killer!

Possibly one of the most outrageous films of recent times comes in the shape of a centipede. The Human Centipede was unleashed upon this world in 2009 and puts three unlucky souls in one of the most disgusting situations as they are arranged and attached in the form of a centipede with the second persons mouth being surgically attached the anus of the person in front! Dr. Heiter is a retired German surgeon who strides to create a new pet for himself! The casting of Dieter Laser is inspired. Just his overall appearance

and on screen persona are enough to send chills down your spine!

So, fairly brief but I have covered a fair amount here. Obviously there are hundreds of characters which have been missed but I have also compiled my personal list of the top 20 greatest Horror Movie Villains below. For the purposes of this article, villain also includes antagonists and any other incarnation of evil but only those of human or humanoid origins because, let’s face it. A Xenomorph is the scariest looking mother fucker out there and would easily be top of the list! Firstly, a few notable exclusions:

Samara Morgan (The Ring)
Blade (Puppet Master)
Pinhead (Puppet Master)
Mayor George W. Buckman (2001 Maniacs)
The Juggernaut (Thirteen Ghosts)
Victor Crowley (Hatchet)
John Doe (Seven)
Jacob Goodnight (See No Evil)
Harry Warden A.K.A The Miner (My Bloody Valentine)
Elly Kedward (The Blair Witch Project)
Lizard (The Hills have Eyes)
Father Meiks (Frailty)
Pumpkinhead (Pumpkinhead)
Bo & Vincent Sinclair (House of Wax)
Pamela Voorhees (Friday the 13th Part 1)
Matilda Dixon (Darkness Falls)
Alistair ‘The Doctor’ Pratt (Fear Dot Com)
Mary Shaw (Dead Silence)

Now, the Top 20 Horror Movie Villains:

20. The Wolfman [Lon Chaney Jr.] (The Wolf-Man)

19. Leprechaun [Warwick Davis] (Leprechaun Franchise)

18. Big Daddy [Eugene Clark] (Land of the Dead)

17. Dracula (Various)

16. The Creeper [Jonathan Breck] (Jeepers Creepers/Jeepers Creepers 2)

15. Candyman [Tony Todd] (Candyman Franchise)

14. Pennywise the Clown [Tim Curry] (IT)

13. Frankenstein’s Monster (Various)

12. Dr. Vannacutt [Jeffrey Combs] (House on Haunted Hill/Return to House on Haunted Hill)

11. Ghostface (Scream Franchise)

10. Hannibal Lecter [Brian Cox/Anthony Hopkins/Gaspard Ulliel] (Manhunter/Red Dragon/Silence of the Lambs/Hannibal/Hannibal Rising)

9. Chucky [Brad Dourif-Voice] (Childs Play Franchise)

8. Norman Bates [Anthony Perkins] (Psycho)

7. Dr. Heiter [Dieter Laser] (The Human Centipede)

6. Jigsaw/John Kramer [Tobin Bell] (Saw Franchise)

5. Leatherface [Gunnar Hanson] (Texas Chainsaw Massacre Franchise)

4. Pinhead A.K.A Captain Elliot Spenser [Doug Bradley] (Hellraiser Franchise)

3. Freddy Krueger [Robert Englund] (Nightmare on Elm Street Franchise)

2. Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th Franchise)

1. Michael Myers (Halloween Franchise)

Remakes: Are they as bad as we think?

I thought it was high time I finally got around to the topic of Re-Makes. Many people believe re-makes are the bane of Hollywood at this precise moment in time. If it’s not an action flick from years gone by, it’s a classic Horror! Have the writers just simply given up or are the studio exec’s looking for the easy score, regurgitating already fruitful assets of yesteryear? Whatever the case may be the list seems to be ever increasing. With no end in sight it seems that I am just going to have to learn to accept it and embrace the new age of cinema!

Try to believe me, they are not all terrible. In the world of Horror, the remake is perhaps more prominent but with a portfolio expanding through remakes, retellings and (for all intents and purpose) prequels and sequels I could go for a while but I have decided to give a Semi-brief [self] opinionated report on the subject matter. As I do like lists, at the end of this post I will also give my personal top 10 best and worst Horror Remakes for your reading pleasures.

Although the remake is not a new concept, it’s in the last 10 years that we have seen a massive increase in the numbers that get churned out. Without even taking into account the numerous remakes, retellings etc of Bram Stoker’s fabled tale we have films surrounding Frankenstein and his various monsters, countless incarnations of Lycanthropes, the tale of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, The island of lost souls and Dr Moreau and so many others that have all been retold and adapted throughout the last century or so. From my memory, the first remake in this sense that I remember watching was probably Night of the Living Dead. When I first saw it I was blissfully unaware of George A. Romero’s 1968 original but at the age I was, I could be forgiven. Directed by Tom Savini who is perhaps better known for his work as a special effects/make-up artist, working on films like Dawn of the Dead and Friday the 13th he made a name for himself.

Although his directing credits haven’t really been expanded, he didn’t do himself any harm with this remake.

A few more that got the remake treatment in the 90’s were Psycho, The Haunting and Village of the Damned. While Village was directed by John Carpenter and was not too bad, The Haunting, originally released in 1963 and remade in 1999 starred Liam Neeson, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Owen Wilson. It was a family friendly little ghost story with a few redeeming features that didn’t really come close to the

original but fairly enjoyable as a stand-alone film. Although I am sure everyone involved, including Vince Vaughn agree that they really shouldn’t have bothered with the dross 1998 offering, Psycho!

As we move into the naughties the remake really begins to pick up pace and films like The Ring and The Grudge from Japan acting as the catalyst for the insurgence. The Ring, again one I saw in the cinema in English before I had seen the original although, I was aware of it this time.

From the opening scene which featured the petrified expression of a young girl I knew it was going to be creepy. In fact, I was so impressed with Gore Verbrinski’s film that it made its way into my Top 10 Horror films of all time.

I have since seen all the Japanese versions and although I do love the American version, the originals are so much more atmospheric.

Atmosphere! Something that is well generated in all Asian Horror films but is usually the main aspect that lacking from the remakes. If they managed to get this part right, the remake may not have had such a bad reputation! Such poor attempts include Pulse, a dull remake of the 2001 Japanese film, Kairo. The remake starred Kristen Bell, someone who should not be in films for obvious reasons! The English language version also spawned two sequels. Despite the plus sides shown by The Ring and to a slightly lesser extent The Grudge, most English Language remakes fall way short of the originals, One Missed Call, Dark Water just to name a few from Japan and The Eye, starring Jessica Alba is an example of a poor remake of a very good film from China and some Korean examples include The Uninvited and Mirrors, both of these are slightly above average in remake terms but pale in comparison.

English Language remakes are not restricted to the Far East though, a new source of interest is being generated in Scandinavia. With Let the right one in from Sweden being remade by Hammer as Let Me In. Recent successes like this along with The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series could lead to more from the likes of Sweden, Norway and Denmark in the near future.

One of my favourite English Language remakes comes in the shape of Quarantine, a remake of Spanish film [REC] The American version being very atmospheric and well acted. Although REC is still perhaps more highly regarded, it would appear that with the release of REC 3, people might begin to think... One Sequel too many as the franchise begins to steer towards a more comedy horror feel!

Let’s bring this thing right up to date and play the big money cards. Recent remakes have included A Nightmare on Elm Street which was remade for some reason without the one redeeming feature from the initial franchise... Robert Englund as Freddy!

Friday the 13th was remade in 2009 with a complete lack of regard for the original. Firstly ignoring the original killer, Mrs Voorhees and secondly making it a blatant, boring, unimaginative slasher film in the vein of Jason X!

Halloween is yet another classic horror to receive the reboot treatment. This time the director, Rob Zombie decided to focus on the early period of Michael’s life. His upbringing and his time spent with Dr Loomis (Played by Malcolm McDowell) All in all, Rob Zombie’s Halloween was not too bad, seeing a

different side to the trouble Michael Myers was a welcome treat however, Halloween 2, also remade by Zombie returns to the mundane slasher stereotype with a few extra’s thrown in as a mediocre attempt to shock viewers. In my opinion, this was one remake too far! The one constant with most new remakes is a distinctly darker feel to the whole film, in other genre’s this has worked. A

brilliant example is Christopher Nolan’s much needed spin on Batman but in terms of Horror films, sometimes darker may not always equal better!

More remakes from the slasher world have come with titles like 2001 Maniacs, My Bloody Valentine and Prom Night but a few have gone above and beyond. Texas Chainsaw Massacre is perhaps one of the most notorious and controversial horror films of the 20th century and in 2003, it was remade. The remake itself wasn’t half bad. Providing us with some interesting spins and good gore but it was three years later with the release of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning that disappointed! With what had promised so much, the film had very little in the way of structure. As with the sequel of the

Halloween remake, it was more of an exercise in blood, gore and shocks with very little to cement its place as a classic horror film!

Now, following on from one mentioned earlier, 2004 saw the release of what is certainly in my eyes the best re-make so far. Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead, whether you love it or hate it, no one can deny that while it does maintain some of the original aspects what it does deliver better than most is hard hitting action on the backdrop of a zombie apocalypse! Starring Sarah Polley, Jake Weber, Ving Rhames and Mekhi Phifer anyone could be forgiven for adopting this as a new film. I know, the original is far superior and a classic in its own right but if you forget for one moment that Romero’s 1978 classic was ever made.

Zack Snyder’s version is a brilliant movie and one which I class as a go-to film. C’mon, everyone has their go-to films. One that after standing in front of the collection for half an hour and still undecided on what to watch, you turn to the old faithfuls... I have a few but Dawn of the Dead is certainly towards the top of that pile.

Following on the immediate success of Dawn of the Dead and Mr Romero’s very own independent films; Land of the Dead & Diary of the Dead, someone obviously decided it would be a good idea to remake another classic. Regarded by many to be Romero’s finest (Personally I still think Night is the best) Day of the Dead was the film in question. Directorial responsibilities fell to Steve Miner. A director whose track record has taken him through pretty much every genre with credits ranging from Forever young to House (The 1986 Horror Comedy with William Catt, not the hospital drama!) More notable horror credits include

Friday the 13th Parts 2 & 3 and Lake Placid. At least with these films behind him, Day of the Dead could have been another fantastic stride in the revolution of remakes. Unfortunately it wasn’t. The tired storyline mixed with the bland characters and the complete and total destruction of a much loved zombie establishment, Bub not to mention the additional desperate act of casting Dawn’s main ass-kicker, Ving Rhames all helped make Day a very forgettable experience!

With the flavour of the month being Romero, The Crazies was next in line to be remade. Starring Timothy Olyphant, the 2010 version was quite good and while it did pull in some cash it also raised the barricade and mystique surrounding the original as until the remake came along, there were few people outside of horror circles that had even heard of Romero’s ’73 biological infection film.

The Hills have Eyes was originally directed by Wes Craven in 1977 and as with most of the original horror films I’ve mentioned, it had a very low budget and an extremely good return. Fairly obvious otherwise we

might never have heard of Mr Craven. Anyway, I digress. Craven’s ‘77 cannibal/hill folk movie was remade in 2006 by Alexandre Aja. The film starred Aaron Stanford, Dan Byrd and Ted Levine. While the remake had a somewhat larger purse than the original, it still did fairly well in the profit margin area and is certainly up there with Dawn of the Dead as one of my go-to films. I think the thing that impressed me most was, as with a lot of Wes Craven’s films, there is a great emphasis on the rising hero and as such, the hero wins the day in flamboyant fashion after battling through great hardship. Possible exception is A Nightmare on Elm Street but With The Hills have Eyes, there is a massive “clenched fist” feel as you will the hero on his path! Enjoyable stuff right there! Regrettably the same praise cannot be lavished on the sequel which was forgettable from the get go!

The next view comes in the shape of a very iconic house but more about the story that surrounds it. 112 Ocean Avenue. Some will instantly recognise the address but to those who are scratching their heads, this was the scene of the infamous DeFeo murders and subsequent Lutz tales of haunting and possession! Of course, it’s The Amityville Horror! Remade in 2005, Amityville had originally been destroyed by unconnected direct-to-video sequels but with the remake, the franchise received a much

needed boost. Starring Ryan Reynolds and Melissa George, the remake packs its own style while maintaining a few of the

key elements that made the 1979 original so compelling. Although the original may be seen by many to be superior, I really liked the remake and class it as my third “go-to” film.

Weird, most of my go-to’s are remakes?? Oh well.

A mention must be made to a few more ghostly occurrences. Firstly a film which was originally made in 1960 with a nice little gimmick; 13 Ghosts saw the viewer given special glasses in order to view the ghosts. Although unimpressive by today’s standards, in 1960 I am sure it was very enjoyable. Anyway, it was remade in 2001, starring Tony Shalhoub and Matthew Lillard, Thir13en

Ghosts was another remake that received extremely negative reviews but despite all that press I rate it very high indeed. Great imagery with the ghosts and some good acting made it for me at least very enjoyable. The next comes in the shape of House on Haunted Hill. The original starring Vincent Price was released in 1959 and was certainly more story based but as was the case with most early horror films, it hasn’t really stood the test of time in terms of scares. The 1999 remake on the other hand relied mainly on its shock, blood and gore with a few thrills and spills thrown in for good measure. Starring Geoffrey Rush as the millionaire Stephen H. Price, Famke

Janssen as his misses’, Jeffrey Combs as the ever evil Dr. Vannacutt and Taye Diggs, Ali Larter and Chris Kattan as a few of the guests, the remake was a very good example of the type of horror film that originally got me hooked. It was more readily available than a lot of the classics and as such served me very well as a 15-16 year old young horror fanatic!

So, as we have seen, the remake has a long and sometimes illustrious past and a future that seems to be inevitably unavoidable. The remakes have had a sort of one step forward, two steps back pattern as they meander along their very unimaginative path. Where some thrill and come very close to their originals, others fall horrifically short! In answer to the question posed at the top of this article, I firmly believe that remakes have had an unfair run, while it is agreed that some have fired a blank there are so many which make up very good, enjoyable and sometimes in their own little quirky ways, original films.

I might change my tune if they fuck up The Evil Dead though!

Now for the round-up; I have compiled my lists of Top 10 Best and Worst Horror remakes for your enjoyment, please give your feedback on opinions. If I have missed any obvious films, I will apologise in advance, my research has consisted of remembering films which I have seen.

Top 10 Best Horror Remakes:

10. Quarantine

9. Texas Chainsaw Massacre

8. House on Haunted Hill

7. Grudge

6. Halloween

5. The Hills have Eyes

4. The Amityville Horror

3. The Thing (1982)

2. The Ring

1. Dawn of the Dead



Top 10 Worst Horror Remakes:

10. The Eye

9. Halloween 2

8. A Nightmare on Elm Street

7. The Hills have Eyes 2

6. Don’t be afraid of the Dark

5. The Omen

4. Pulse

3. The Wicker Man

2. Psycho

1. The Fog